Have you ever had the feeling of running away? Grass is always greener on the other side? New place, fresh start? Well that has been my mind set lately...even though I am far from running away since it won't solve any problem that exists.
It is nice to think for a short second that walking away from the life that you know into a new life you can create would make any and all problems you are facing disappear. The sad realistic truth is that those problems will just find you at some point and you will have to face them all again.
I just have so much going on in my life right now that I am drained. I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I have no energy to fight any battle that is before me instead I just break down and cry. I cry because I feel helpless, I feel overwhelmed, I feel defeated, I feel as if my walls are caving in and I can't break out of the room.
I know that others out there are dealing with much more complex issues in life and that mine are minimal, but at this very moment all of mine added up are a little too heavy for me to carry on my shoulders. Unfortunately I have no place to turn or go, so I am stuck dealing with all the issues and trying to come up with solutions.
Between not knowing the stability or future of my job, to deciding the best choice for my son's education, how I am going to pay for things and be able to start to save for a place of my own, to the stress of living at my mothers house (which I am very grateful for her allowing us to be here), being a single parent (which has its benefits at times), dealing with friends moving away, etc. Every thing at one time adds up to a whole bunch of nothing and I am drained.
I feel like my life is slowly going down the drain and I can't find the stopper in the sink. I know that in time it will get better and I can start to fill the sink up again but right now it is hard to think positively.
It is nice to think for a short second that walking away from the life that you know into a new life you can create would make any and all problems you are facing disappear. The sad realistic truth is that those problems will just find you at some point and you will have to face them all again.
I just have so much going on in my life right now that I am drained. I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I have no energy to fight any battle that is before me instead I just break down and cry. I cry because I feel helpless, I feel overwhelmed, I feel defeated, I feel as if my walls are caving in and I can't break out of the room.
I know that others out there are dealing with much more complex issues in life and that mine are minimal, but at this very moment all of mine added up are a little too heavy for me to carry on my shoulders. Unfortunately I have no place to turn or go, so I am stuck dealing with all the issues and trying to come up with solutions.
Between not knowing the stability or future of my job, to deciding the best choice for my son's education, how I am going to pay for things and be able to start to save for a place of my own, to the stress of living at my mothers house (which I am very grateful for her allowing us to be here), being a single parent (which has its benefits at times), dealing with friends moving away, etc. Every thing at one time adds up to a whole bunch of nothing and I am drained.
I feel like my life is slowly going down the drain and I can't find the stopper in the sink. I know that in time it will get better and I can start to fill the sink up again but right now it is hard to think positively.
So maybe running away is not the option. Maybe a vacation is the answer....but how does one take a vacation with no funding for it? No one to take care of your son? No vacation time at work? It doesn't happen! I continue to burn my wick at both ends until it meets in the middle and burns out.
Oh well I just need to keep reminding myself that I have been stressed to the max before and I got out of it. This won't be the last time I am given too much to handle, so pull up the boot straps and start trucking thru the junk.
