Well on our way...

Camdon is well on his way in the potty training world. I am so proud of my little guy! It is such a great thing to watch him get so excited and proud of himself every time he pee's in the potty. It is such an accomplishment for a 3 year old (heck it is an accomplishment for a single mom of a boy) to learn to pee standing up.
Camdon is regularly going pee in the potty, we are still working on the pooping part (they say most kids are scared to sit and poop, which is the case in this house). He is staying dry in his Pull Ups for the day (I always said I would never use Pull Ups, but I have to say I am glad I am and probably wouldn't of if I didn't have 2 Target bags full of them). We are completely done with diapers (only babies use them ya know, hahaha) and the little undies (cars, sports themed, plain white ones and another theme'd kind...they were a gift) are washed and in his drawer ready to be used. We tried them when he first started the potty training "thing" but stopped because I didn't want to keep doing laundry with all the accidents at first. Since Camdon is staying dry so much I may start to reintroduce them in hopes that it helps him to continue to be accident free. I can't believe my baby is going to be wearing big boy undies soon.
Camdon IS going pee in the potty, but he still hasn't gotten the sense of when he has to go. He isn't asking to go on a regular basis and when he does ask he needs to go NOW that minute. I have said all along that this is a work in progress, slow and steady wins the race. We are getting there and we will keep chugging along. Just like the little train going up the hill, Camdon and I have to keep saying "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" and one day he is going to look at me and say "I did it" just like he does now when he pee's in the potty.
I was so proud of my son tonight. After I picked him up from daycare, we went to Target to return the box of diapers I had and picked up some stickers for his sticker chart. We then went to McD's since he wanted "chicken" (I wanted Panera but he wasn't going for the pbj sandwich) and then off to the softball game for the guys at my office. Once we got to the softball game I kept asking him if he needed to go potty and he kept saying NO. I figured that by the time we got home he would be soaked.....and was pleasantly surprised that he was COMPLETELY DRY! He went from 4pm until 7:30 pm.....YIPPEE!
Last night was another stand on the top of the world and yell to everyone moment.....I had Camdon go potty before he went to bed, 8pm, and when he woke up at 6 am this morning he was bone dry.......YA! I had him go before he got dressed and he was like a never ending water fall....but after he finished, he was so proud of him (and so was I). I can't wait to see what tomorrow morning holds for us....hopefully another proud boy (and Mama).

What a weekend...

With the way my week was going at work, I honestly didn't think it could get any worse....and once I walked out the doors Friday afternoon it only went up from there. I started off by going to Panera and having my first official meal in a restaurant by myself. I have never done that and since I was hungry and had time to waste why not eat while sitting down and not in the car. I then went to the mall to find a chocolate bunny from Lindt since Camdon pooped on the potty and the bunny I told him he could have melted the day before.....NO LUCK getting a rabbit not during the Easter season. I stopped in Target while at the mall and picked up some diapers (which I am going to return now since we are doing so well on the potty, more to come shortly), pull ups (man those are so expensive), 2 New Release movies for $10 each (super excited) and some shampoo/conditioner. I picked up Cam from his sitter early and decided since he did so well on the potty I would take him to his first movie at the theater, we went and saw UP. I was ecstatic when the girl asked how old he was and told me that under 4 is free....go me for only paying $5.50 to get into the movie for the 2 of us. We went to Chunky's and got popcorn for Camdon, dinner and dessert while watching the movie.

Waiting patiently for the movie to begin. He kept saying "Okay, movie over" and I had to keep telling him it hadn't started yet.

Content with his popcorn.

Sharing dinner with Teddy. He had chicken nuggets, chips and milk. The movie started shortly after he finished eating his dinner, but the popcorn wasn't too far away.

Camdon loved the movie....I think he enjoyed the fact that he could sit in the big comfy old car chairs, stand up, walk over to my side of the table, sit on my lap and lay back in the chair...all while watching a movie on this HUGE screen. It was great...can't wait to do it again. After the movie ended we went home and had a tub before going to bed.

Saturday was another great day. Unfortunately we have been getting so much rain lately and scheduled to get another 6 days worth of rain....so I took advantage of Saturday morning being clear from rain. It has been my goal this year to do a lot of different things with Camdon since he is getting a little bit bigger and one of those things was to go strawberry picking.

Heading to find some strawberries.

Finding a good strawberry.

Going to the next row to get some more strawberries.

Camdon did well at first picking strawberries....we had lots of white and green strawberries in our bucket but we had fun so that is all that mattered.

On our way back from Strawberry picking we hit a couple yard sales (well we hit one and drove by another) and I got 2 games for $3 and a bag of My Little Ponies for the sitters daughter for $1. We got home shortly after and Camdon rode on his jeep for a bit, we had lunch and he took a short nap. When he woke up he declared he wanted to "go feed the cows". So off to the petting farm we went.

Feeding the goat.

Feeding the sheep (this is the mean sheep who pushed the other out of the way) ....

and was eager to eat whatever Camdon would give him....

and just stick his head out far enough to eat from the bowl.

On our way back home the clouds were rolling in and we had to stop at Walmart to pick up some things I could find at Target. We got home, I grilled up some chicken. I ended up cutting up the strawberries and putting them in the freezer so we can use them whenever a craving comes about.

Sunday morning started off with strawberry pancakes...YUMMY! It was a pretty yucky day with all the rain so we stayed indoors all day and in our jammies. I have to say that with all the stuff we have been doing this weekend we have still been able to work on the potty training. Just today, Camdon earned 7 stickers....GO CAMDON! I had asked him a few weeks ago if he wanted a sticker chart like at school and he said no.....but today he asked me for one so I drew one up for him and hopefully it helps him out.

Phew what a weekend....and next weekend isn't any quieter with all the bbq's we have to go to and such. What a great way to spend the summer....with friends and family doing things and keeping busy. Memories will be made and photos will be shared.

One step closer

This is going to be so vague as I can't get too much into details right now....but I will in a few weeks when things settle a little bit and I am more comfortable with how things are panning out.
I have made up my mind on a very important part of my life....I am so nervous about the next step in my life, but it is one that has had much thought and is very needed for me to live a little less stressed. I know that when it all comes out some will not support me and some will...but the most important person's thoughts that I care about are my own. I am doing what I think is the right thing to do. I have been battling this decision for a while now and finally just got the courage guts to go forward with it. Hopefully while I am sleeping and getting ready for work tomorrow I won't change my mind...one main reason why I need to go to work late tomorrow so I can just do what I have to do and continue with my day.

So far from where I thought I would be....but happier!

I never envisioned my life the way it is today. Growing up I was to graduate high school, go to college, become a pediatric doctor, get married by 25, buy a house and have a family. That was the way it was going to go and there was no detouring from there! My goals were set and I would accomplish all of them in that order.

I did graduate high school, I did graduate college and I was engaged to be married by the time I was 25 (to my high school sweetheart which I later called the whole thing off). I however did not graduate with a doctorate, I did not even graduate with a degree in medicine (thought about it, but didn't get there), didn't get a house YET...but I DO have my family.

My family may not be what I always thought it was going to be growing up...mom, dad and child with a picket fence. My family consists of MOM and SON and that is perfectly fine with me. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Yes it would be nice to have "the perfect family", but sometimes that is just not the way things work out. Yes it would be nice to have someone to help with finances, drop off and pick up from day care, tubs, meals, bed time, play time POTTY TRAINING and just a break....but it isn't worth it to me if that brings along fighting, sadness, anger, cheating, lying, "extra curricular activities" aka drugs and alcohol. I am happy to be a single mom. I am happy to have a healthy child who is not in the negative environment I decided to be in for so many years. I am happy that my child doesn't have to live with the broken promises that come along with SUPER DAD Sleeping Beauty.

I would never change any decisions I have made in the past 4 years. I tried to keep my family together for a very long time. I was defeated not joined in this by someone who decided other things were more important in life then taking care of his responsibility (a whole new blog will be written on that part of my life). I honestly have to thank Sleeping Beauty for helping me be who I am today. I would not have the strength I have if I never went thru what I did while with him. I think that is probably the only thing that was positive from the relationship, BESIDES helping me conceive........

My life isn't as easy as it could be, my life isn't as full of "me" time as I use to have, my life isn't what I envisioned growing up. HOWEVER my life is full of unconditional love from a little boy who loves me for me. Loves me no matter what I look like, what I do for a job, what my life ended up being. My son loves me for me and that is the best thing I could have asked for.

I couldn't have ever envisioned my life the way it is. I couldn't have ever envisioned having the love I do have and being where I am today. I may not have all the money in the world, I may not have my own house, the perfect "family" or the knowledge of a doctor. I instead have a life full of love by one amazing person.....

I get to live life thru the eye's of a child. I get to learn all over again and be reminded that life isn't so bad and that it really isn't as complicated as us adults make it.


Children have to climb ladders and children have to learn things. Adults have to climb ladders and adults have to learn things....so why do we, as adults, make it so difficult? Why can't we, as adults, take it in strides like children do and just go with the flow? We all are eager to grow up and become adults and then we all "wish we could be younger knowing what we know now". I think everyone needs to take a step back and re-evaluate where our lives are going and what is mandatory to make it fun successfully. I have started doing that and things have begun to change even more for the positive and my life is just getting even better then it already was, with just a little less stress.

To stand or not to stand.....

I did as much research as I could on the whole how to potty train your child. Am I suppose to teach him to sit? Stand? How do you teach a boy to stand when you don't have the same equiptment parts? What am I suppose to do with it just being me? Will he sit for the rest of his life if I potty train him sitting? After reading article after article, they suggest that you start boys off sitting because they may have a bowel movement while they are urinating. Uh ok....GREAT! I asked friends, coworkers and family on what do to....and each person's way was the "best" way to do it...hahahaha.

My bright idea during the vacation I had almost a month ago was to potty train bug, I figured what better way then to have over 7 days focused on learning to use the potty and get away from the diapers......I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task, however I didn't realize it was going to be so difficult. I mean some people can get their children potty trained in days. I figured that if we stayed home for most of the vacation and didn't do anything but run around the house naked it would work....or so I thought.

First off, my son doesn't like, and never has liked, to run around the house naked. He actually has a fit and needs to be dressed....guess I won't have to worry about him streaking when he gets older. So I ended up just taking off his diaper and having him go "comando". The first day, I was bugging checking in with him every 2 minutes or so. I will admit I was getting annoyed with hearing my voice say "Cam do you have to go peepee?" But I honestly just wanted to keep reminding him he didn't have on a diaper. I had the little potty seat out in the living room so if he had to go last minute there was no issue. YUP big waste of money that didnt go over so well. First he refused to sit on it, when he sit on it he kept complaining that it hurt his bum....my poor baby. So I brought him into the bathroom and put him on the potty while holding him...that didn't go over well either. He cried and was scared of the big open hole of water. No accidents for the whole morning.......my child is going to het this and be potty trained before he goes back to daycare, YIPPEE, is what was going thru my head. During his tub that night I noticed he was getting ready to have a bowel movement, so I grabbed him out of the tub and put him on the potty where he actually went. I was so proud of him, jumped up and down, clapped, let him pick a "prize" for going on the potty. We are so on the right track and he is definitly going to be potty trained in no time.....or so I thought.

The next day I decided I would have him run around "comando" again, except this time I would NOT keep BUGGING asking him to go potty I would periodically take him in the bathroom and have him try. Yup this is going to work out perfectly. In we go to the bathroom for one of the breaks and he tinkled on the potty....yes this is going amazingly easy. So I praise him, pull up his pants and off we go to the living room again. 5 minutes later as I am emtpying the dishwasher with my helper, a flood is pouring down his legs....man this isn't going so well. So I tell him it is okay, it was just an accident and that when we need to go pee we go on the potty. Change his wet clothes and start all over. Another bathroom break and he tinkles again on the potty...yes! YUP you guessed it, 5 minutes later while standing in front of the side door my son is standing in yet another puddle. It is okay Camdon, it was an accident but next time you need to go pee you need to go on the potty (and I bring him in to show him yet again where it is located).....so not our day for potty training but there is always tomorrow let's go do something during our vacation.

The very next day Camdon had no interest in being "comando" so I didn't push the issue. We went about our day and I mentioned using the potty a few time thru out the day. The very next day after that was the same thing. I was getting discouraged and didn't know what to do. Offering rewards wasn't going anyplace, praising him didn't seem to be working....so what do I do now?

Well I just kept mentioning it to him. I got a seat (CARS themed) that goes on the big potty since he seemed to want to use the real potty and not the potty chair. it had the potty shield for boys, because after you have them sit on the potty once you will realize that when a boy pee's his pee doesn't just automatically go down, it acutally goes up like a water fountain. The first couple of days it worked great, however for some reason bug kept saying it hurt. When I asked him what hurt I realized the shield was doing more harm to him then it was any good. I took it off and he has been a happy clam.

So last night we went up to my nephew's Tball game and had a sleep over up there. When we got home all the boys were getting ready for showers/tubs. Camdon's turn came, so I told him we were going to use the potty chair that aunty and cousins had (construction truck one). He saw my youngest nephew standing up to pee and firmly told me he wanted to stand up. I was so nervous.....nervous he wasn't going to make it in the potty, nervous he was going to fall, just nervous it was going to be a mess. Surprisingly enough.....he pee'd standing up like a pro and that is how we have been going since then. He is so proud of himself for doing it this way and it seems to be working out for him

So my whole goal of getting this done in a few days thought that this potty training thing was going to be easy and quick, was thrown out the window within the first few days. It is going to be a timely thing and all I need is patience with it. I was afraid nervous to be teaching a boy to use the potty, but I have learned that I can do this without a man in our lives. I have attempted yet one more thing as a single mom and we will be able to get thru this together.

In the end I guess it doesn't matter if he learns to sit or stand.....the first step is to learn to go in the potty. The second step is to learn to keep going in the potty and not in diapers/pull ups/underwear/pants. The third step is do learn to stand if he isn't already standing at that point. I mean there isn't any one in college still wearing diapers, right?

Just like playing chess, need to figure out the next move....

I have never played chess or had a desire to learn how to play it, but I do know that you are constantly searching for your next move to get thru the game. Sometimes I feel like my life is a game (The Game of Life) and I am constantly battling what the next move is. Sometimes I make the right move, sometimes I make the smart move and get the go ahead 5 spaces, and sometimes I make not so smart move and have to return to START. No matter which move I get, I learn and go onto the next possible move I can make to get to the end of the game. There is no one to compete against, except myself, and there is no one to prove anything to. For most of it there is no clock to beat.

I have been playing the same game for at least 3 years now. I have been battling with the fact that I am the only one on the birth certificate for my amazing son. For the longest time I had the hardest time dealing with the fact that Sleeping Beauty didn't sign it and wasn't on it. For the longest time I worried about what people would think when they found out he wasn't on it. For the longest time I wondered what this meant for the future. I can finally say that my shoulders have a little less weight on them knowing that due to Sleeping Beauty's decision not to sign the paperwork, rights to my amazing son are at the level of ZERO for him. Many steps would need to be taken to get any rights to him and too much money, that he doesn't have since he is constantly unemployed, would need to be spent on this battle.

Phew! What a relief that is....but now I have a few more decisions I need to make. Do I continue on my battle or do I leave it where it is in hopes nothing comes out of the woodwork? Either way there are pro's and there are con's, it is just comparing the pro's and con's to see which is more valuable to my son and my future life. So for now I will leave it at that.....gosh being a responsible parent is not as easy as people think, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It may be tough, but in the end it is all worth it!

I know we all have heard and sometimes use the say "Time flies when your having fun", but I can't really believe how fast time has flown the past 3 years.

For 3 years I have been a single mom, by choice, but yet a single mom. For 3 years I have watched my son learn and discover everything he possibly could. For 3 years I have never said "I can't wait until Camdon can (fill in the blank)". I have never wanted to push my child to do anything and have never wanted to rush one milestone to get to the next....but let me tell you this week I am ready to move onto the next thing. If I hear "I do it myself" 1 more time I am going to scream. "I do it" is now the phrase we use when getting dressed, changing clothes, putting in a movie, turning something on, getting food/drinks, etc. "I do it" and I will cry and whine when it doesn't work and will refuse to let you help me.

I love my son and I wouldn't for the life of me turn back time and change any decision I have made for him. He is my pride and joy, he is my rock, he is what keeps me going on a daily basis. My son is my best friend and bearer of unconditional love. I am not saying it hasn't been easy...in fact it has been the opposite. Being a parent is a daily challenge but being a single parent who works 40+ hours a week is even more of a challenge. Even though I am challenged every day, I am rewarded even more by the smile, the hug, the kiss, the ability to spend time together and most of all the ability to watch something brand new being learned.

I love you Camdon. I am proud of who you have become in these 3 years and I am very much appreciative of what you have taught your mama.