Planning isn't always the way to go

Is your husband....(fill in the blank)?

Why is it that people always assume that if you have a child you are automatically married? I totally understand that the "proper" way to start a family is to get married, get a house and have children. Realistically it doesn't always happen like that. Life isn't always a fairy tale and things happen to make the "perfect" life not so "perfect".

I didn't plan my life to be the way it is. I did not plan on meeting a guy at a bar (which at first we didn't really like each other at all and only talked because our friends were interested in each other). I didn't plan on getting in a relationship with what I thought was a great guy with my son's father. I didn't plan on getting pregnant unexpectedly. I didn't plan on having to go thru my pregnancy alone because my father's son was either "out with friends" or in jail towards the end. I did not plan on living the drama life I lived while with my son's father. I did not plan on being a single mom with no help whats so ever. I did not plan!

I may not have planned any of the things that happened to me in my life these past few years, but I would NOT change any of them for anything. I may not have planned any of these things BUT I did choose them in the end. I did choose to have a relationship (not such a good one but I always held hope). I did choose to keep MY baby when I found out I was pregnant. I did choose to stand by my son's father thru all the cheating, lying, drugs, alcohol, jail, etc heartache I was put thru. I did choose to finally one day wake up walk away from a situation that wasn't healthy for not only my life BUT most importantly MY sons life. I made the decision to do this parenting thing on my own!

I am not married! I am not embarrassed by the fact that I am doing this ALONE! I am not jealous of what "I don't have". I am not part of the perfect life, but my life is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I didn't go thru the challenges I have faced. I would not appreciate my life and what I have as much as I do if I didn't have to struggle and work for all that I have.

My son is MY life. My son is a product of MY life. I am the one who has gone thru the ear infections, the colds, the long nights, the burned hands, the lack of sleep and all that comes with having a child. I am the one that gets to see my son smile, learn things and feel the love that he has to give.

Please stop assuming that when there is a child involved that there is automatically a husband/wife. Please just know that this child you are looking at is getting the best life that he can be given and who is loved more than anyone will ever know. Please know that this child gets everything he needs in his life and more. Please know that this child you are staring at has so many people (men and women) there for him that he will never be without.

Please know there is not a day that goes by that I do not worry if walking away was the best decision I made. There is not a day that goes by that I don't worry about what my son will think when he gets older. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about the day that my son stops me and wants to know why everyone else has a mom and dad. There is not a day that goes by that I am not having some sort of thought about my son's future because of the chooses I made running thru my head. Some may not agree with the decisions I made, however they are the one's I made and I am the one that has to be able to sleep at night with them (which I can).

I am the lucky one because I have MY son in MY life (and I tell him that all the time....so much that now when we are in the car he says to me "Mama you are lucky" and I say "Why am I lucky?" in which he responds "because you have me in your life"). My life may not be the way I planned it to be, but sometimes things happen for a certain reason and I am happy they do.