So far from where I thought I would be....but happier!

I never envisioned my life the way it is today. Growing up I was to graduate high school, go to college, become a pediatric doctor, get married by 25, buy a house and have a family. That was the way it was going to go and there was no detouring from there! My goals were set and I would accomplish all of them in that order.

I did graduate high school, I did graduate college and I was engaged to be married by the time I was 25 (to my high school sweetheart which I later called the whole thing off). I however did not graduate with a doctorate, I did not even graduate with a degree in medicine (thought about it, but didn't get there), didn't get a house YET...but I DO have my family.

My family may not be what I always thought it was going to be growing up...mom, dad and child with a picket fence. My family consists of MOM and SON and that is perfectly fine with me. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Yes it would be nice to have "the perfect family", but sometimes that is just not the way things work out. Yes it would be nice to have someone to help with finances, drop off and pick up from day care, tubs, meals, bed time, play time POTTY TRAINING and just a break....but it isn't worth it to me if that brings along fighting, sadness, anger, cheating, lying, "extra curricular activities" aka drugs and alcohol. I am happy to be a single mom. I am happy to have a healthy child who is not in the negative environment I decided to be in for so many years. I am happy that my child doesn't have to live with the broken promises that come along with SUPER DAD Sleeping Beauty.

I would never change any decisions I have made in the past 4 years. I tried to keep my family together for a very long time. I was defeated not joined in this by someone who decided other things were more important in life then taking care of his responsibility (a whole new blog will be written on that part of my life). I honestly have to thank Sleeping Beauty for helping me be who I am today. I would not have the strength I have if I never went thru what I did while with him. I think that is probably the only thing that was positive from the relationship, BESIDES helping me conceive........

My life isn't as easy as it could be, my life isn't as full of "me" time as I use to have, my life isn't what I envisioned growing up. HOWEVER my life is full of unconditional love from a little boy who loves me for me. Loves me no matter what I look like, what I do for a job, what my life ended up being. My son loves me for me and that is the best thing I could have asked for.

I couldn't have ever envisioned my life the way it is. I couldn't have ever envisioned having the love I do have and being where I am today. I may not have all the money in the world, I may not have my own house, the perfect "family" or the knowledge of a doctor. I instead have a life full of love by one amazing person.....

I get to live life thru the eye's of a child. I get to learn all over again and be reminded that life isn't so bad and that it really isn't as complicated as us adults make it.


Children have to climb ladders and children have to learn things. Adults have to climb ladders and adults have to learn things....so why do we, as adults, make it so difficult? Why can't we, as adults, take it in strides like children do and just go with the flow? We all are eager to grow up and become adults and then we all "wish we could be younger knowing what we know now". I think everyone needs to take a step back and re-evaluate where our lives are going and what is mandatory to make it fun successfully. I have started doing that and things have begun to change even more for the positive and my life is just getting even better then it already was, with just a little less stress.